Referring to Lifetime and you can Like
When i mention how the different connection designs food from inside the relationships along inside my publication (Crappy Boyfriends: Using Accessory Idea to prevent Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong), I did not enter higher detail, primarily since the book are directed at the individuals hoping to get on the a relationship, perhaps not men and women seeking to handle one to it curently have. However, We discover there’s higher need for playing with connection concept and you may items to try and guide hard matchmaking in order to a far more safer and you will rewarding pattern, thus here is my (often speculative) accept for every single consolidation sort of:
Such people might have other difficulties (addiction, distinctions over currency and you may paying, fairy-story requirement), however, all in all as they are one another Secure, they have a tendency to speak well and don’t fall under the newest impaired correspondence designs as much. Having their own internal sense of cover means they are smaller worry about-depending, and lets better sympathy for their lover’s thoughts. A sense of reasonableness and you will equity produces all of the question it face sometime simpler to face to each other, and you may relying on one another is far more tend to rewarded.
The brand new Preoccupied one to usually test the patience of your Safe one to by the demanding way more messages out of reassurance and you will edging on stress when the fresh new Safe that cannot work easily or reassuringly. This will often drive the brand new Safer one towards a very Dismissive accessory layout within the relationshipsdespite possessing internal safeguards, the unnecessary demands of your Possessed tends to make individuals faster patient. If it problem is not too really serious, new Secure partner can bring the new Preoccupied mate further on the protection from the constant patient encouragement, even when the Preoccupied one is are unreasonable. (more…)